Sunday, March 30, 2014

A person is a person no matter how small . . . .

Last Thursday, a new little soul was welcomed into Heaven.
Constantine Michael Joseph
Babies have a way of making us all realize what is important.
Our goal and hopefully final destination - HEAVEN
I am delicately sharing this story to help anyone at all who might find themselves or someone they know or love in a similar very difficult position.
This story is not about me but someone I love very dearly.
Wednesday evening I sat in St. Anthony's emergency room.
Tests were ran.
More tests were ran.
At 1:00 Thursday morning, the news came back.
Wow!  I medically understand all of the ramifications of this situation.
The doctor rattled off the options.
1.  Do nothing and let the tube rupture.
2.  Take several heavy doses of a chemotherapy drug and kill the baby
3.  Remove the tube and . . . . all done.
I was sick.  I knew there was no saving the baby but all of it sounded so barbaric.
I immediately thought to myself,  "If it were me I would just let my tube rupture.  I would not willfully ever kill my baby!!"
I looked at this dear person laying there and knew that was not the answer either. 
What to say.  It shamefully crossed my mind,  "A miscarriage would be easier."  But I knew that is just as painful.  When you are pro-life, a life is a life.  The loss of that life is never easy.
Think.  Think.  Think.
If you have never been to St. Anthony's hospital, they have the nicest chapel I have ever seen at a hospital.
I went there to pray.  What to do?  What to say?
I returned to the room.  I told this person that I had nothing good to say or think about the chemotherapy option.  You are just down right killing the baby.
After speaking to the doctor again the very best and most beautiful option was agreed upon.
When the baby was removed from the fallopian tube it would be immediately baptized.
So that is exactly what happened.
I returned exhausted Thursday night.  One of my sons paced well into the night.
I finally asked if he wanted to talk about everything that had happened.  I realized that I had really struggled with this situation morally.  How would I explain this to my son.  I am very pro-life.  Always have been.  Always will be.
I sat down with him.  I prayed deeply that God would give me the words to explain to this boy in a most tender manner.  He had been excited about the baby too and was really hurt and confused.
So big breath.  Those that know me well would know what courage it took to draw a uterus, ovaries and fallopian tubes.  Explain how a baby implants into the uterus in a normal situation and why this was different.
He understood the medical and risks such as I did but questioned the pro-life issue again.
I am glad I am Catholic.
"Well, here is where you must remember that there are two parts of a body - The physical body and the spiritual one - the soul.  As you know the soul is the most important part.  If the baby had been much bigger in the mommy's tummy and there was a life threatening issue, the baby would be delivered early, immediately baptized and then they would do everything they could to save the baby.  This baby's life was in danger.  This baby was about to die too.  What the doctor did was go in and deliver this very tiny baby.  It was immediately baptized. At this time, there are no life saving procedures medically known to save this baby so it did die but the most important part of the baby was saved.  Its soul.  So every thing was done to save the baby.  Spiritually first.  Physically second."
It was the very best and most beautiful outcome for a very difficult situation.
After talking to my sister and a few other people who know people who have had ectopic pregnancies, they stated that they felt that they had aborted their baby.  I can certainly understand why.
So I share my newest pro-life story in the hopes that it can help someone else.
All life should be cherished.  All life should be respected.
It belongs to God.  A soul was created to return to Him.  To know, love and be happy with Him in Heaven forever.
So little Constantine, all of Heaven rejoices a new little saint has joined the ranks.  That makes this story very, very happy.
Deo Gratias.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Only a boy would say this! Part 938579357839

Boys are scrambling to catch the bus this morning.

The following conversation ensues:

Oldest boy: Has anyone seen my deodorant?

Youngest boy:  No.  I haven't.

Oldest boy:  Does anyone have any deodorant I can borrow?

Middle boy asking youngest boy:  Don't you have some of that Old Spice kind?

Youngest boy:  NO!!  Mine has a blue lid and is call SPEED STINK.

I don't think he will have to worry about anyone borrowing THAT deodorant!!! 

Monday, January 20, 2014

You look burdened. Can I pray for you?


The power of prayer.  I believe in it.  It is why the devil attacks our desire to pray first.  Weakening our fortress. Taking the wind from our sails.  Diminishing our hope amongst the trials. 

Do not stop praying.  It is your light.  Your line of communication with the Almighty.

The definitions of prayer are:
  1. An earnest request; entreaty;  supplication
  2. A humble entreaty addressed to God;  a request for God
  3. Any spiritual communion with God
  4. Something prayed for or requested, as a petition
There are others but I focus on these.

I have learned the power of prayer from oneself and especially from others.

People would say they would pray for me.  I would think foolishly, "I can pray for these things.  I know I should be praying for my own stuff and why should I burden others with this!!!  They have their own problems to pray about.  I should be able to pray adequately for all the things that I am responsible for and the ones I know about."

Darn pride.

Humility is the cure of this evil curse:  pride.

God thought I needed a lesson in prayer.

He turned off my light last year.  I wandered. 


I knew where I wanted to be but I lost the road.  My map was taken away.

At my darkest moments, my friends would say I am praying for you.  At first I was mad.  Mad that I needed someone else to pray for me and my family.  This is my job.

I remember one dismal day.  I remember hearing my heart imploring God,  "What is to become of my children if I cannot even pray for them or myself through this time?!?!?!?"

He answered my plea.

"My dear child, your friends are praying for you."

I was moved to tears.  I sobbed at my foolish pride.  I then found prayer in my heart again.  I begged God to bless those that were praying for my dear family when I couldn't even do that and to answer their dearest and most intimate prayers also.

Faith, hope and love.  And the greatest of all of these is love.

Charity is love in action.  We can love but without charity our love has no wings.  No force to propel it forward.

The highest form of charity is prayer.

Prayer is love true love in action.

So I am asking for some prayers here and now.  :)  I can do it. 

Please pray for several friends babies, a dear special lady and family that found a perfect house to make a home, for a dear, dear friend whose mother has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer (St. Joseph, patron of a happy death, we need you!), for my own children who are struggling spiritually right now, for my daughter and her "husband" that they get married within the church very soon, for our priests and seminarians of the Institute (they are all wonderful and have sacrificed so much for us all), for my amazing parents who raised 3 children that are all now still Catholic, for those who are in their final agony, for those who most especially who cannot muster a prayer for themselves at this moment - it is a dark and hard place.

The last one that I ask you to pray about is for those who are unbaptized.  One dear girl in particular who seeks the truth.

I ask anyone who sees this please add your own prayer requests.  I WILL pray for you.  Others will also.

God bless you.

I thank you for your prayers. 

Thursday, December 12, 2013

In a pickle!

No, No.  Thank goodness not that kind of pickle.

This blog started out about adventuring. 
Doing things.  Living life.
Yes. We've been doing it.  :) 
No, no it isn't about these kind of pickles either!!!
Yes, we finally made it at it's prime.

Interesting ice "bubbles' from dripping icicles

Ice "penguins"  )

Interesting rock formations


TONS of AMAZING ice formations
growing out of the ground

Good bye Pickle Springs!!!!

We will be back in the spring!!
For those interested, Pickle Springs is located in Ste. Genevieve Co.
One hour south of St. Louis.  55 to 32.
The hike is about an hour and half. 
There are lovely vantage points and interesting rock formations.
DO IT!!  :)
And then stop by for a bite to eat or we'll come too and then feed you.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Happy Feast of the Immaculate Conception . . . Ummmm a little late.

It is a very special day for me personally.
For those of you who know about St. Louis de Monfort's Consecration to the Blessed Mother, there are several Marian Feast days and a few saint's feast days that are recommended upon which to finish your consecration.
For those of you who have never heard of it, here is a link to consecrate yourself to our Blessed Mother:
My father's birthday is on the feast of the Assumption.
I tried several failed attempts to finish on that day as I thought it would be special.
Tried a couple other times.
So, I don't remember the particulars but the urge to finally finish it was really calling me.
So, OKAY, (sigh) I'll finish it on December 8th. 
Feast of the Immaculate Conception
Satan was out to derail this attempt from the start again.

By the grace of God and help from the Blessed Mother, I made it to December 8th.
I woke up excited.  I had made it to the end.
I was heading to 8 am Mass and I would stay after and say my prayers and do my consecration.
With this you are to write out the consecration and mail it in to the confraternity.
Off to Mass, we go.
Now those of us that attended Mass that fateful feast day will never forget.
It is a day that will live in infamy.
The boilers were down at St. Francis de Sales Oratory!!
Frozen holy water.
Frost bitten extremities.
Icicles literally forming on the noses of the parishioners.
People developing hypothermia.
You doubt but those of us there that day are still thawing out and shudder at its memory.
I still do not know how Canon was able to say Mass.
Well, needless to say there was NO WAY I could stay a moment longer to finish my consecration and even if I had the pen was frozen and my fingers couldn't even move to grasp it anyway!
So there I was.  I had to leave.  My life was in danger!
I messed around in St. Louis most of the day. 
Shamefully thinking, I can't go back there!  I will surely die this time.
Then I would fight back and say, "It is just for a bit.  Go, it will be a small sacrifice."
So I found a warm spot for my children to stay as not to subject them to this and allow myself time alone to pray and finish.
I approached the church and shuddered.
Opened the door expecting the worst, warmer air hit my face.
The heater was fixed!!!!!
I made my way in front of our Lady's altar and said my prayers and got ready to write my consecration and finish.
A wave of fear, slight horror, and doubt gripped me as I heard, "This is a solemn oath.  Like a character mark or promise.  What happens the next time you fail and sin?  You will be breaking this oath making yourself even more culpable and guilty.  You will be held accountable in a manner that you will surely never achieve or be good enough.  You will break this promise.  It is best not to finish than knowing this."
I sat there for about 15 minutes really thinking about this.  It is not something I take lightly.  Am I worthy and up to this task?  I know I will fail sometimes and feel horrible and even worse because I consecrated myself.
I really almost got up and left.
Then She whispered in my ear, "When and if you fail, pick yourself up and use the sacraments.  It is the evil one trying to tempt you and turn you away from my motherly protection and your devotion.  I will help you."
I immediately set to work writing.  I knew I would fail but I would have confidence in my faith and not let satan tempt me to despair in the same manner as before in my life.  The Blessed Mother would be my aid.
I finished.  Peace.  Peace of soul.
I knew it would not last forever but I basked in it for a bit.
I dearly was not prepared for what lay ahead of me through the passed several years.
One could refer to it as the dark night of the soul as St. John of the Cross adequately describes it.
Like a light turned off 
No heat
You wander alone on another planet.
Without grace or the things you hold dear.
A barren waste land 
You are to renew your consecration every year on the same day.
I have done so.
Sunday was approaching.
Her Feast day and my renewal.
I didn't really understand why she had chosen that day for me to finish it.
I had wanted another day.
I contemplated it.
Of all of the titles the doctors and saints of the church have given to Mary, this is the title she herself used.  The only one she has called herself.
I contemplated the litany of the Blessed Virgin Mary and all of her titles:
Refuge of Sinners
Queen of all saints
Tower of Ivory Arc of the Covenant
Cause of our joy
Help of Christians
This is the one she uses.
My daughters middle names are Catherine and Bernadette.
The Blessed Mother appeared to St. Catherine Laboure and requested the Miraculous Medal to be struck.
The inscription on it reads:
O Mary, conceived without sin,  pray for us those who have recourse to Thee."
The Immaculate Conception - Conceived without sin
To St. Bernadette, the Blessed Mother appears.
The holy and innocent girl begged the Blessed Mother to tell her who She was.

Our Lady responded, "I am the Immaculate Conception."
Twice referenced the Immaculate Conception - The title she chooses to use.
Sunday came.  I contemplated a lifetime of mistakes.
Several years of pain and yet more mistakes.
I confidently walked into church.
Because She is the patroness of the Institute of Christ the King Sovereign Priest, a plenary indulgence is granted under the usual circumstances.
I made my way to the confessional.
And finally after Mass renewed and rewrote my consecration.
I looked at Her statue on the altar.
I could see her say, "I am the Immaculate Conception."
I continued my gauze and responded, "O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us those who have recourse to Thee."
Consecrate yourself to the Blessed Mother - It may not be easy but the rewards are eternal.
Consecrate your families.
Please pray for Holy Father and that he consecrates Russia to the Immaculate Heart of Mary.
She has asked the Holy Father to do so at Fatima and it is long overdue. 
So, turn to the refuge of sinners when you are in need and place your trust in her -
O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us those who have recourse to Thee."

St. Louis de Monfort, pray for us.
St. Catherine Laboure, pray for us.
St. Bernadette, pray for us.
As a final footnote:  The Slaves of the Immaculate Conception has a wonderful section devoted to the Total Consecration to the Blessed Mother - Entitled True Devotion  You can find it here:
 And as one final last after thought . . . . . I guess I was dearly prepared for what lay ahead.
The Blessed Mother had given me Her Motherly protection and guidance.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013


You know when a woodpecker is getting breakfast from your bedroom window frame . . .

It is time to replace the window.

Cute little feller . . . but really, please eat breakfast somewhere else.  :/

Saturday, September 7, 2013


Many times I have asked myself why I would I stick my ideas out there.

As I broach the subject of feminism, I really asked myself.  Why would you want to do that?  What if you are really off base?  Sound stupid.  Who cares what your ideas are?  There are VOLUMES written about this subject.

I continue to write for a couple of reasons.  The first and most important one are for my children.  I have young ladies and men to raise.  I want them to read this discussion or thoughts.  I want other parents or people's perspective.  I want to know.

I am so far removed from many of my close friends and communication on issues such as these are few and far between.  It makes me feel as if I wander blindly in this dessert alone.  I glean great information and insight from others writings.  It is comforting and informative.  Thought provoking.  I appreciate the time that it takes to share it for those of us out there who read it.

Already, a most honorable and dignified lady added this comment ,"A must-read add-on suggestion would be Alice von Hilderbrand's "The Privilege of Being a Woman".  Absolutely excellent counsels on this very topic of what a TRUE woman is, how the world re-defines her, and why it's important to be counter-culture in her defense."

Yes.  That is a must read.

So, the next one I think I will start on what I believe my idea for an ideal woman.

I dearly appreciate all of you truly noble men and women out there that I know.  You are a credit to your gender and a lovely living example to my children, myself and all those who come in contact with you of the truly amazing creation of man and woman as God designed it. 

Thank you.  Again.  All of you.  I admire all of you.  Fight the good fight.