Sigh . . . . .

I am past due for another road trip . . . . . 

Somewhere.

Anywhere.

But. . . . . I do love where I am too.

And the people I journey with.

I LOVE this idea!!!

Death

The days of November are drawing to a close for 2012.

It is the month dedicated to the Holy Souls.

We, church militant, pray for these souls.  

It is also the time in which we too should consider our own death and final judgement.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efiJauhz664&list=PLD841087C099E5B90&index=6&feature=plcp

This video is about an hour long but I pray it help your examination of conscience and help us all prepare for the approaching holy season of Advent.

Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them. 

May the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.

 Amen.

Friends

I like people.

My mother instilled in me that there is something good in every person.

(Sometimes, it might be hard to find it.)

There are some people that enter another plane.

We call these people friends.

It is said that if a person can say that they have one true friend in life they are very fortunate.

Fortunate, I am.

This past year, I have learned the meaning and value of life as God intends it because of each and every one of them.

When I sunk to an all time low and could not pray, my friend was praying for me (more than one was I know).

When I didn't like myself, my friends still did even though I was hardly likable.

When I didn't want anyone to know how badly I had failed and how often, I had friends that listened unconditionally and with unwavering Christian charity did not judge but counseled accordingly.

Yes, through each and everyone of you, I have gained a new and beautiful understanding of God's mercy, love and charity.

I see God's guiding hand and presence in each one of you.

There are some of you who know I am speaking directly to you and why.

But I want anyone who reads this to know that even if our conversations were brief or in passing, you have touched my very heart.

I am humbled by the kindness and concern of others.

THANK YOU MY DEAR FRIENDS.

Thank you!

To sum things up . . . .

I read this and think it pretty good summary of the election:

"The danger to America is not Barack Obama, but a citizenry capable of entrusting a man like him with the Presidency. It will be far easier to limit and undo the follies of an Obama presidency than to restore the necessary common sense and good judgment to a depraved electorate willing to have such a man for their president. The problem is much deeper and far more serious than Mr. Obama, who is a mere symptom of what ails America. Blaming the prince of the fools should not blind anyone to the vast confederacy of fools that made him their prince. The Republic can survive a Barack Obama, who is, after all, merely a fool. It is less likely to survive a multitude of fools, such as those who made him their president."

May God help us all.

Just say no. A dog can.

I am not an eloquent writer and there are great books and articles written about the topic that I am about to broach but I heard something yesterday and I wanted to share it.

Society today is TOTALLY WARPED   

I believe in the 10 commandments.

In order to regulate ANYTHING, you have to have something on which to base your beliefs.

If you have no belief system, then what propels a person to do good?

A person is then driven by what has been labeled a "person's primal instincts."

Sound animalistic?

So sin and other disturbing behaviors are marginalized, rationalized and promoted on the grounds that a person simply CANNOT be asked to control their impulses or behavior.

They have raging hormones, couldn't help themselves, on and on.

If this modern idea is right, than nobody should have to refrain from controlling any primal urge they have.

If you want it, you should steal it.  

Animals do.

If it bothers you, you should attack it and possibly kill it.

Animals do.

I am sick and tired of hearing that people, mainly young people, cannot be held accountable and asked to be responsible for their behaviors.

So, I was speaking to a priest yesterday he told a story that completely sums up why this modern idea that we are primal animals incapable of controlling ourselves is completely stupid and irrational.

There was a young lady about 15 who was in a terrible accident.  For the rest of her life she was paralyzed from the waist down.  Father went to see her before she passed away. She had a guide dog who helped her out.  They were talking about this dog and the training that it must go through in order to become a guide dog.  

After extensive training the dog and the soon-to-be new master had to go to a very busy mall and perform a long and strenuous test.  If the dog failed EVEN ONE THING it was sent back for 6 months of training.  

Of course for the woman this guide dog meant freedom and help so the dog failing this test would be very disappointing to say the least. 

One part of the test involved . . . . a hamburger.   

She had to buy a hamburger, take the bun off and set it right in front of the dog.  She could only say "no" one time and see what happened.  If the dog so much as sniffed the burger closely, he would fail the test. 

We all know DOGS LOVE MEAT.  They are designed to eat. The dog has only primal understanding.  It doesn't understand the importance of this task.  It is not gaining anything personally from denying itself the meat.  It must just blindly obey his master because he was told "no" in a kindly voice. 

So, she bought the burger, opened it up and laid it in front of the dog. 

The dog looked at her with longing eyes . . . . . . . . but didn't even sniff the burger.   

HE PASSED THE TEST.

If the dog did not have purpose and direction then naturally it would be running WILD in the wilderness ripping small animals apart.

We are supposed to be civilized people with higher reasoning and intellect.  The dog cannot completely grasp the depth and importance of his job but blindly obeys.

We take things on faith and reason.  We too should blindly obey and control our "primal instincts and passions".  This is what makes us civilized beings.  We have a brain and most importantly a soul.  We are created in the image and likeness of God by God Himself.  He is our loving Master.  

If we as a civilization do not have our laws and ethics governed by God Almighty, just what is it based on?

I am not a hypocrite either to expect this line of reasoning.

I understand that we are human and do fail and must go back for more training of the will on a daily basis.

It is because we have souls with a body that we are driven to seek out and perform the duty our Master has created us for in this life.  

If we have no Divine Master, then yes, we are reduced to packs of wild beasts. 

But if a DOG can be expected to control itself, then we should too.

I pray this day for us all to persevere and the great gift of God's mercy and guiding grace when we do fail.

The faith of a little child

The children's birthdays are stacked up in the summer.

My sweet little turtle.

As you read previously, one person didn't get their present for months.

One got everything on time.


Another one got their present 2 weeks early because it was needed sooner.

WHAT?!?!??!  My birthday present early?

Yippeeee!!  My own suitcase!

The excitement ensues as the suitcase rolls all over the house.

Going forward.

Backing up:  Making beeping noises of course

Then silence for a brief moment.

Shouts of excitement come from around the corner!!

MOM!

MOM!!!!

GUESSSSS WHAT!!!

What?

My suitcase came with a toothbrush holder  . . . . . . 

and 2 holy water bottles!!!!!!

God bless you little fellow.

So, I would have left it at that but a sibling piped up and said, "No, it is for soap."

Looking a bit perplexed he leaves and comes back a moment later.

"There.  I have my toothbrush, soap and holy water because you NEVER know when you might need it!"

The simple faith of a child is refreshing and sweet.

No, you never know when you might need holy water.

HUMMMMMM . . . . . . . 

Maybe, that suitcase should have come with a gallon container. . . . . .

No, wait, 2 gallon containers.

One for soap.

One for holy water.

What a difference a year makes!

I used my flash drive the other day.  

I clicked on a folder.  This is what I saw:

It was ironic because it was exactly one year before that we had been standing in this very spot almost to the minute when I saw it.

It has got me thinking about my grand adventure.  Today, I perused my pictures to see where I had been today one year ago.

Looking at amazing jelly fish.

Feeding a very fat and demanding squirrel.

Never mind that crunched in corner of my poor car.

And trying to take a silly picture of a "sea monster" coming out of the ocean to eat an unsuspecting hootiekin.

We had been stuck at Hearst Beach off of Hwy 1 due to a horrific accident.  Several people had died right in front of us and traffic was at a stand still.  The children had been squabbling in the back.  I briefly pulled over and scolded them and pulled back out onto the road.  The very cars that had past me were involved in the wreck.  It was that close.  The children did not grasp our own possible outcome and how blessed we had been but one year later, I still think about it.  

The passage of time becomes more bittersweet as you get older.  You want to suck up and make the most of every second you have.  It is impossible not to take an inventory of it all occasionally.  Questions like:  If it had been us in that accident, was there any of us that needed to go to confession?  How do you impart to these young people the importance of making the best decisions in every moment because you cannot return and erase them?  On and on.

"Lost wealth may be restored by industry, - the wreck of health regained by temperance, - forgotten knowledge restored by study,  - alienated friendship smoothed into forgetfulness, - even forfeited reputation won by penitence and virtue.  But who ever looked upon his vanished hours, - recalled his slighted years, - stamped them with wisdom, - or effaced from Heaven's record the fearful blot of wasted time?"

I decided that I would look back and see what we were doing in years past.

 2007

  At a horse show.  Even Oreo is much younger then and poor Goldie's mane and forelock had been trimmed by an over exuberant boy.

2008 

Playing in the Atlantic Ocean at St. Augustine, Florida

2009 

 I can't seem to find the pictures but we were hauling a horse to Houston, Texas and playing in the Gulf water at Galveston, TX.

2010 

 Right around the same time - We were watching our very first Oratory football game.

As we neared the end of the trip last year, the finality of it all hit me.

I realized that for one month we had been taking pictures and had only 2 or 3 with the whole clan.

People were tired.  Two were needing a restroom that was nowhere in sight.  One didn't have any shoes and had a severely infected knee by now.  

Nobody wanted to sit for it at all.  They were done.  I was not.

I insisted that we take one picture with everyone.  My camera propped up on my purse and here it is.

A snap shot in time.

It makes me think of what we will have done and where we will have gone in this next year.

One thing is for sure, however, the passage of time waits for no man.  We do not know what our tomorrows may bring.  We are accountable to Almighty God for each and every second of our lives.  Those that were well spent and that time that was wasted.  It is a most precious gift that God gives us.  

So as each moment passes and with each decision we make, we should ask ourselves, "Will this help to lead me into eternity, where time is eternal, to spend it in heaven or into eternal damnation?"  

None of us know the hour which we will be called to give an account for this time here on earth.

God bless you all.

The good ole' days . . . . . .

I was doing school with my children today 

and one of the words was OUST.

Having schooled several already, I can't seem to stop rhyming everything.

So then I said, "OUST  JOUST."

All of a sudden . . . . . . . 

I had a very strange flashback to a time long ago.

Like 30 years ago!!!!!!

See if you too remember this . . . . . 

CLICK HERE FOR A GOOD TIME!!! (You will feel 12 again. Or something around that. I promise!)

The World's Most Dangerous Weapon

With 3 armed boys in the house . . . . . 

INVADERS BEWARE!!

Family Photos: Moving Targets

I was in at Best Buy the other day looking at cameras.  

My daughter's birthday was back in early July and I decided that September might be a good time to get her present.  I surely didn't want to drag it out until December.

There was another mother looking at cameras too.

She was asking the salesman EVERY conceivable question about cameras.

There was a lull in their conversation so I asked for the one I had chosen but alas it was the only one out of stock in the store.  So, he went see if he could find me one at another store.

I made light conversation with this expecting mother.

She explained the last camera she had chosen was not cheap at all but very disappointing and she was very worried about which one to buy.

I smiled at her and said,  "The very best advice that I can give you about a camera is this:  Most of these will take good quality pictures.  What you really need with children is a camera with the sport or action setting and the burst mode.   A wide angle lens is a must too.  Just keep your camera set to sports mode and you will have a much better chance of getting a picture.  I promise. Oh, and a huge roll of duct tape works wonders too."

I AM CATHOLIC!!!

I am amazed in this global, cookie cutter world that people are more compartmentalized that ever before.  Everything has to have a ridiculous amount of  labeling to identify it.  


I am an American.


That should be enough to say.  Right?  Nope, now we have Mexican-Americans, Polynesian Island-Americans, African-Americans and on and on and on.


I am an American.  My not so distant relatives immigrated to the United States of America and became American.  I guess they could have gone anywhere in the world but they wanted to be American.  Not German-Black-Forest Region-Americans.  Just Americans.  They fully understood what they were doing.  They chose to be American.


And now of course the country is split into a million smaller political titles:  Demo., Rep, Liberal, Conservative, Ultra-Conservative, etc.


You get my drift.   


But I am telling you I am tired of it.


I stay away from the medical professionals as much as possible and choose a more natural approach to taking care of my health.  People try to figure out what that means.  Are you a child from a couple of hippies?  Are you some kinda vegetarian?  No.  The one I like best was, "Oh, she's a conservative.  You know like one of those conservatives."  Huh?  I just like to eat healthy food.


I've made the joke before that everyone needs a title to identify themselves.  


Mine would be something like this:  I am a Catholic, 100% Pro-life, carrot eating, dirt digging, vote for the good guy or the best of the duds, German-Black Forest Region, Mid-Western, Rhubarb lovin', pig chasin', wood-cuttin, book readin', white girl American mom.  PHEW!  That was exhausting!


I feel like I am back in Science class trying to figure out the classification and order of a dung beetle.  


That wouldn't be long enough either because even after that someone would say, "You one-a-them traditional Catholics?"


HUH?  


I keep hearing this phrase and I sadly bought into it until last night.


Where and how did ALL of these labels get stuck in the front of the word CATHOLIC?  Into my faith?


If you want to tell me which part of the church you belong to you had better say, "I am Church Militant Catholic." because the rest of the Catholics are dead and either in Church Triumphant or Church Suffering.


NEVER have I read in a Catechism about Traditional Catholics.  Or Liberal Catholics, Or Sunday morning Catholics, or whatever else there is. 


When I got out on my own, I would say, "I am a Catholic".  I realized if I called myself that I had better know what that meant.  Really meant.  I then asked myself, "Self, do you REALLY believe all that the Catholic Church teaches and not just because your mother raised you Catholic?  Yes, I do."  

The bible and doctors and Saints of the Church have defined everything completely.  


It is ALL SPELLED OUT PERFECTLY! 


I feel like I am in a bad redneck joke.  


You MIGHT be a Catholic if you think contraception is not a sin."


(Laughter erupts from the crowd)


You MIGHT be a Catholic if . . . . . (go ahead there are a bunch of fill in the blanks)

I HAVE A FIX FOR THIS WHOLE PROBLEM!!  
It is cheap and easy.


Lets have everyone who "thinks" they are Catholic meet with a priest and fill out a questionnaire.  Employers can do it.  The Church can to!


Let ask, oh, lets say 20 questions.  I guess for some who think this is humorous, we can call it 20 ?'s to see if you are Catholic or not.


They would be something like:


1.  Do you believe in God?
2.  Do you believe in the Immaculate Conception
3.  Do you believe that life begins at conception and should be protected?
4.  Do you believe that contraception is a grave sin?
and some more and end with - 
20.  Do you believe Christ is truly present, body, blood, soul and divinity in the Holy Eucharist?


They would be scored like they do for the word challenge in Readers Digest.
20 Correct - Fantastic!  You are Catholic!  Please see a priest if you have any other questions.  
17-19 Correct - Congratulations!  You are probably a Catholic.  See a priest to answer any questions about the ones you missed but until then I am sorry you are NOT able to go to communion.
10-16 Correct - Your not doing TOO bad but you shouldn't call yourself a Catholic yet.  Keep reading and praying and you will get there if you want to.  You are welcome to come back anytime and retest.
0-10 Correct - Wow!  You have some serious differences with the faith.  Sorry.  You are not a Catholic.  We hope to see you back for a retest.


This is not mean or uncharitable it is honest.  Why be and say you are something you do not believe in 100%?  There are PLENTY of different sets of faiths people can belong to in this country and abroad.  


A recent poll stated that only 30% of "Catholics" believe in the true presence of Christ in the Eucharist.  


NEWS FLASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  If you don't believe that transubstantiation occurs and Christ is present, if you support ABORTION, if you never go to church, if you support euthanasia, etc. than you are NOT A CATHOLIC.  You can't be.  You can change you view points but you are not with those beliefs.


I found the following:

I am a Muslim and we cannot eat pork (pig) or any animal that consumes meat or is beneficial to mankind, like a horse for example. The number one reason for Muslims not eating pork is because it is an order from Allah and we must obey his command.

What would happen to someone who said they were Muslim and kept showing up for prayer after eating a ham sandwich or kept giving bacon to other Muslims because, "BACON IS SO TASTY!  You guys don't know what you are missing!"  

That is pretty silly example but there are CORE beliefs that MUST be adhered to and practiced to say you are part of ANY defined religion.

It is SHOCKING to me that the most grief I get about my religion is from other "Catholics" when I am defending DOGMA!  

They don't want to listen to the messages of Fatima, Lourdes, many saints, etc because it is personal revelation (which no Catholic is commanded to believe) but they turn around and say, "Well, God told me that contraception, women priests, etc are really okay."  Isn't that private revelation too?  Double talk everywhere.

Let me be perfectly clear about this also:  The church has in place a remedy for people who have gone against the teachings - CONFESSION.  And thank goodness for it.  I, myself, have had to refrain from receiving communion in my life and had to correct error of my own BECAUSE I am Catholic and believe Her teachings.  If you are in grave sin you cannot receive communion because it is a sacrilege.  This is just one of the many ways the Church loving guides her flock and propels them to correct the sin they persist in.  

The law says if you speed you will get a ticket.  If you steal you will go to jail.


The church laws and dogma always end with something like:  

Let him be ANATHEMA!   

Here is a link to show you what I mean from the 1st Vatican Counsel http://www.dailycatholic.org/history/20ecume3.htm  

What does anathema mean?  This is from the "freedictionary" online.

anathema [əˈnæθəmə]

n pl -mas

1. a detested person or thing he is anathema to me

2. (Christianity / Ecclesiastical Terms) a formal ecclesiastical curse of excommunication or a formal denunciation of a doctrine

3. (Christianity / Ecclesiastical Terms) the person or thing so cursed

4. a strong curse; imprecation

[via Church Latin from Greek: something accursed, dedicated (to evil), from anatithenai to dedicate, from ana- + tithenai to set]

Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003

I know some might gasp at that severe language.  Why?  If you don't believe it why do you care?  If you do care about being a Catholic then those are the rules and laws.  If you break them, you obviously excommunicate yourself.

What does excommunicate mean?


Roman Catholic Answer

Excommunication is the most severe punishment that the Church hands out, it is indeed a punishment meant to bring an erring sinner to their senses before they lost their eternal salvation, from the Catechism of the Catholic Church:

1463 Certain particularly grave sins incur excommunication, the most severe ecclesiastical penalty, which impedes the reception of the sacraments and the exercise of certain ecclesiastical acts, and for which absolution consequently cannot be granted, according to canon law, except by the Pope, the bishop of the place or priests authorized by them. (See Code of Canon Law, cann. 1332; 1354-1357) In danger of death any priest, even if deprived of faculties for hearing confessions, can absolve from every sin and excommunication. (see Code of Canon Law, can. 976)

Most excommunications are automatic, in other words, you automatically excommunicate yourself (this is called latae sententiae) when you do certain things: apostasy from the faith, throwing away the sacred species, a person who uses physical force against the Roman Pontiff, a priest pretending to absolve an accomplice against the sixth commandment, a bishop who consecrates someone a bishop without a pontifical mandate, a priest who violates the seal of the confessional, any person who procures a successful abortion incurs an automatic excommunication.

from Canon 1331 in the Code of Canon Law: 

An excommunicated person is forbidden: 

1. to have any ministerial participation in celebrating the Eucharistic Sacrifice or in any other ceremonies whatsoever of public worship; 

2. to celebrate the sacraments and sacramentals and to receive the sacraments; 

3. to discharge any ecclesiastical offices, ministries, or functions whatsoever, or to place acts of governance.

There you go folks most excommunications (see high-lighted pink area) do not need a formal process!  If you break the law that is the penalty.  

See, it is true and has happened before.

When I have made grave errors in my life,  I had two choices:  correct the problem or quit calling myself a Catholic.  I AM A CATHOLIC and chose to return and follow my faith as faithfully as I can.

Believing all of this doesn't make me a "TRADITIONAL" Catholic.  It makes me a Catholic.

I bet if people REALLY saw and knew what it was to be a Catholic there would be a "Chick-fil-A" effect. There would be many people who return to the faith.

So, would the 70% of the people who call themselves "Catholic" but don't uphold the teachings of the church, please step aside and re-educate yourselves or stop calling yourself Catholic.  Don't put a title in front of it like Pro-Choice Catholic or New Age Catholic because that is as wrong as arsenic candy.   And don't stick "Traditional" in front of mine because I AM NOT DEAD YET.  I am part of Church Militant fighting to uphold the teachings of the Catholic faith and LIVE AND BE MY FAITH so that one day, God willing, I will spend eternity in Heaven with God.  The God I so deeply love and adore.

I AM CATHOLIC!

Question from boy:  "Does Obama have a bomb proof car?"

Answer from Mom:  "Yes, he does."

Question from boy:  "Does that mean that George Washington had a bomb proof horse and carriage?"

Thought from Mom:  "I guess the skill of natural deduction is working."

My friend went to China and all she got me was this . . . . . . .

TOILET PAPER!!!!!

Yes, some people have friends that bring them t-shirts or jewelry 

but my dear friend brings me Chinese toilet paper.

How is it that this lovely lady can go ALLLLL the way to China and bring this thing home?

Well, she was running late to catch the fastest train in the world but wanted to quickly find my children chop sticks.  So, the guide took them to WALMART!  Yes, Walmart in China.  Ironic especially because this lady NEVER shops at Walmart in America.  

General motherly instinct must have gotten the best of her while shopping and this is my present. 

First let me point out the dramatic size difference between Chinese and American toilet paper.

We all know China's one child policy and preference that the one child be male.

Why would they need giant quantities of anything?

As for the chopsticks, she found they were all packaged in sets of 5.  A strange number to us here in the United States but very logical in China.  At a meal there is normally one set of grandparents, the parents and this one child.

They have a serious problem over there now.  

It is called "Little Emperor Syndrome". 

4 adult doting on and doing everything for this one (normally male) child.

So I decided to see exactly what if anything there was about this. This article is from a tourist point of view.  At the end it very adequately points out that in the impoverished areas where the one child rule has been relaxed and children have to find or make their toys, they are significantly happier than the city dwelling "little emperors."

http://www.uncorneredmarket.com/2008/09/china-so-many-little-emperors/

This particular article raise some very good questions by a Chinese.  What will happen to the Chinese workforce and government when ALL of these coddled adults start working or running the country?  

http://goldsea.com/Text/index.php?id=9080

The Chinese youth and young adults certainly do not corner the market on a lack of manners and concern unfortunately.  I witnessed this insensitivity first hand on my grand trip.  At all of the national parks and "touristy" places, because of the time of year, there were mainly foreigners visiting these places.  They stood right in front of the camera while we tried to take pictures, never held doors open and didn't make friendly eye contact.  There was a sense of gross entitlement everywhere.  Sept. and Oct. is the time also when the Australian tourists are abound as well.  They, however, were completely opposite.  Smiling, offering to take pictures for us, holding doors, etc.

This syndrome is alive and well in America though for different reasons.

http://www.fastcompany.com/magazine/102/culture-clash.html

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/11/business/yourmoney/11wcol.html?_r=

This mentality is rampant EVERYWHERE.

The "Little Emperor" syndrome and "Helicopter" parents are just two widely documented effects of a "ME" world and society.   

The welfare system, school system, overspending, etc has wrecked havoc on societies everywhere.  Under the guise of "social justice" and "the betterment of mankind", what makes us human beings has been lost. The image of God has been replaced with "man is god" mentality.  The "what else are you gonna do for me" attitude is a sad one. 

It is anti-God.  

When a world, society, family and person removes God from the center of their being and reasoning,

they loose their purpose. 

So, this is how I buy my toilet paper because that one little roll of "Happiness" wouldn't last too long around here.  

I am trying to raise many saints not one emperor.  

Hammin' it up while trying to bring home the bacon!

SOOOOO, the last event of the county fair is always the greased pig contest.

The object of this event is to catch the pig.

The main question is "Do you get to keep the pig?"

YES YOU DO!

Next question, "What are you going to do with it if you catch it?"

Well, this year we had a grand plan.

A bonfire pig roast.

Yes, my vegetarian sister would be horrified by such an event.

There are no words really to explain this fiasco.

So I leave you with some of the pictures and quotes about
MUD!!!!!  AND PIGS!!!!!

"They come because they are looking forward to beautiful, crystal-clear water.

But they're getting mud or, as someone called it, cocoa."

"How dirty do your feet have to get without suffocating yourself in the mud 

in order to get and inch of what you really want done?

"I am very proud to be called a pig.  It stands for PRIDE, INTEGRITY, and GUTS." 

"Litigation:  A machine you go into as a pig and come out of as sausage."

"These are bagpipes.  

I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm.  Unfortunately, the man-made sound never equaled the purity of the sound achieved by the pig."

"When you tell people about the mud pit, 

you separate yourself from anybody else who does any kind of athletic activity."

"Pigs prefer to wallow in clean mud."

"If you see a defense team with dirt and mud on their backs, they've had a bad day." 

"I remember my mother always finding mud somehow 

and putting it on the sting"

 "War has rules, mud wrestling has rules - politics has no rules."

"The world is mud-lucious and puddle-wonderful."

"He who slings mud generally looses ground."

"We sit in the mud and reach for the stars."

"Here I've been waiting for 20 years to dance with Fred Astaire, 

and what do I get?  Mud in my eye!"  

"That man over there says that women need to be helped into carriages,

 and lifted over ditches, and to have the best place everywhere.  

Nobody ever helps me into carriages, or over mud-puddles, or gives me any best place!"

"A girl is Innocence playing in the mud, Beauty standing on its head,

 and Motherhood dragging a doll by the foot."

"I like my women to be feminine, not sliding into tackles and covered in mud."

"Fame is like a shaved pig with a greased tail, and it is only after it has slipped through the hands of some thousands that some fellow, by mere chance, holds on to it!"

"The next day my daughter asked, 'Mom, are you sore?'

I answered, 'Yes dear, I am. I am not sure how it's possible but my whole body even both of my ears are very sore.' "

 -  Hootiecootie