Adventures with Hootiecootie and friends: Love/Hate Relationships

If that title sounds like something fishy is happening around here, you are correct!

I have been thinking about many things lately. Most of the time that is not good!

This time might be different . . . . but I doubt it.

So many things around me that I LOVE but HATE to love them!!!

My life would be so much easier if in fact I could live without them completely. Some of these things I must keep because ultimately, they serve a greater purpose. The rest, well, are like magnets. When I see them, I simply CAN'T resist them!

I am going to start with the first of these things and try very hard to be strong and avoid these cute little fellers in the future.

Normally, I would be opposed to schools of fish all around me. Especially schools of fish in my stomach. I could never imagine myself picking up fish by the handfuls and chowing down on them but these are different.

What is it about those adorable little things that smile at you while you eat them? Why would you even eat something that SMILES AT YOU!?!?!? And really let's just be honest, it isn't really eating when you cram handfuls of anything into your mouth and keep returning for more in the same manner.

They are evil, I say, pure evil. They should have made them look like piranhas because they are NOT sweet and innocent! The only word that comes to mind when I see them is GLUTTONY!!!!!!

Picture the cookie monster. Keep imagining that. Now imagine the cookie monster having been starved from eating cookies for 3 years!

Yes, that is me when I get my hands into a bag of these creatures. Have you guessed what I speak of yet? If you have then chances are you have done the SAME THING!

You look at one, so cute. "Hi litte guy!" Line them up. Eat the ones without tails first. That is the humane way to eat them you know. Then all of a sudden your hand is pulling them out as fast as they can go into your mouth. The bag is never ending. You are secretly wishing someone would save you. Then you look into the bag. 3 are only left and some crumbs. You might as well finish those off too. At least you can hide the bag in the bottom of the trash can and everybody might think they only thought they saw goldfish in the cupboard.

At least I have matured enough to know NEVER EVER buy the gallon box of them! Now, however, they have Smores, baby ones, flavor blasted ones, and going to outer space fish.

It started the same way it always does this weekend.

"Oh, Dierbergs has Goldfish on sale 10 bags for $10! WOW! WHEE!"

I hesitate. I think to myself, "Don't buy those things! You will EAT THEM ALL!" Then the other side of my brain says, "You know your children would LOVE those Goldfish crackers. It has been SO long since you bought them. And look at that deal! You can't beat $1 a bag! It isn't fair to deprive them just because YOU can't control yourself. It will be different this time"

Then the fight begins. You'll eat them ALL! No, I won't! I can hide them from myself! No you can't! Remember the last time you ate them ALL! I know, I know but I know how bad I felt! I WON'T do the again. Yes, you will! NO I WON'T!!! YES, YOU WILL!!

I think at this point I am arguing out loud with myself in front of the goldfish crackers with people staring at me or walking quickly passed me with their carts telling their children not to stare.

A GOOD DEAL and THOSE IRRESISTIBLE SMILES won again!

Oh boy, do I feel sick!

They are so cute too! Why, oh why, can't I leave them alone! I tell you I hope I NEVER see another goldfish cracker again!

Because . . . . . for some strange reason I will EAT THEM ALL!!!!!!!

At least if they looked like piranhas then I could justify it saying, "I had to eat them before they ate me!"